Why is God always talking to freaks?

“Bishop” Weeks gives us some black teaching on undefiled marital relations. You see, since the marriage bed is undefiled, “God wants something undefiled going on in the bedroom!” The FBI overheard Saint Martin Luther King doing the same thing at the Lorraine Motel the night before he went to the devil. Saint Martin’s wife wasn’t present, but at least he abided by the Weeks doctrine: “Don’t take your salvation into the bedroom!” The woman standing in the video, in the lime green outfit, is Juanita Bynum. She is now divorced from the Right Reverend Bishop Weeks after being abused by him, which I can’t understand, given his charisma and sense of fashion, both of which are necessary prerequisites for hermeneutics class at Brother Octavius LaShon’s School of How to Discretely Release Your Anointing and Whatnot. And get a load of the name of that website. Do you think web filters would tag anything called “White Christian News” as Extremism & Hate, since we’re all equal?

See the girl with the diamond ring. She know how to shake that thang.

So basically, you have to paint a target on yourself to attract God. These White people do a fantastic impression of a black church, but you can tell they’re White because some of them are wearing party hats and blowing whistles. No self-respecting black man would ever do anything so ridiculous.

Do helmets qualify as headcoverings?

I seem to have misplaced my Sound Doctrine. I know it must be around here somewhere.

I’m glad that we’ve lived long enough to see nutball holy rollers take the final step into complete kookery. Oil and diamond dust! I’m confused though. Should one typically massage one’s anointing or release it, or massage it before releasing it?

This is one of the strangest posts I’ve ever seen from Doug Wilson. But what caught my eye is this:

If you believe, as I do, that confusion about our sexual roles and responsibilities (those assigned to us by God) explains a great deal about why we are so confused about everything else, then cutting through the sexual fog becomes a moral responsibility. If popular appeals to sexual egalitarianism (and the corresponding doctrine of ultimate sexual plasticity) causes clear thinking to fly out the window, then we as Christians ought to be doing what we can to get that window closed.

I agree, but consider that Wilson’s own grandfathers also agreed with this statement: “If you believe, as I do, that confusion about our racial roles and responsibilities (those assigned to us by God) explains a great deal about why we are so confused about everything else, then cutting through the racial fog becomes a moral responsibility. If popular appeals to racial egalitarianism (and the corresponding doctrine of ultimate racial plasticity) causes clear thinking to fly out the window, then we as Christians ought to be doing what we can to get that window closed.” And those who refuse to close the window should be dismissed as liberals, for the very reason that, as important as sexual identity is for our duties as men and women, our future as a people depends on our identity as a people. In case you haven’t noticed, we haven’t been doing so well in the future department, and the trouble coincided with the racial liberalism that is on constant display from preachers.

On a lighter note, N.T. Wright, who regularly rushes to the defense of the heretic and faggot Rowan Williams, calls Doug Wilson unkind for calling Africans lazy. “No doubt some are, no doubt some aren’t, just like the rest of us.” Actually, says Wilson, I said “that the citizens of Zimbabwe were not capable of self-governance (as demonstrated by them not doing so).” Wright is clearly in the terminal stages of White Man’s Disease, and Wilson wonders what Wright could say about the Apostle Paul’s “hateful” statement about Cretans. That Paul was unkind? Wilson has written this of Christ’s encounter with the Syro-Phoenician woman:

Jesus was not above using ethnic humor to make His point… Put in terms that we might be more familiar with, Jesus was white, and the disciples were white, and this black woman comes up seeking healing, for her daughter… She comes up and beseeches Christ for healing. “It’s not right,” He says, “to give perfectly good white folk food to niggers”… If this understanding is right, then Jesus was using a racial insult to make a point. If it is not correct, then He was simply using a racial insult.

Tsk, tsk. Such malice and vainglory. But seriously, there is another possibility, and it just so happens to be the correct one. Christ was sent to his own people first; this woman was not of His people, but in time the apostles would be sent to her too. It is a principle that we should learn in our own time: we must feed our own children before we look to the needs of others. This is not even remotely the same as refusing to “give perfectly good white folk food to ‘niggers,’” in Reverend Wilson’s colorful language.

Doug Wilson at his strongest: “When I have had to preach the funeral sermon for an infant, stillborn into the covenant, what do I say? I declare, without any ambiguity or doubt at all, that the child is with the Lord in heaven. What warrant do I have for declaring this? The same warrant I had for baptizing that same child, had the child lived.”

“Our fools, the popes, bishops, sophists, and monks—the crude asses’ heads—have hitherto so treated the Jews that anyone who wished to be a good Christian would almost have had to become a Jew. If I had been a Jew and had seen such dolts and blockheads govern and teach the Christian faith, I would sooner have become a hog than a Christian.” ~ Martin Luther

“There was widespread condemnation of Rowan Williams, England’s Archbishop of Canterbury, when he said recently that some of Islam’s Sharia law should be allowed to play a part in British jurisprudence. But the incorporation of Talmudic law into the US judiciary raises nary a whisper of disapprobation from the crusaders for “Western values”who denounced Williams. Do they imagine that rabbinic law is a western value?”

Islam will be Russia’s predominant religion in 2050, unless Whites wake up and smell the diversity they’ve tracked on the carpet.

Our friend Charles found this in a book called Christianity and Nationalism:

The outpouring of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost (Acts 2) and the accompanying miracle of “speaking in other tongues” could be seen as God finally undoing the “curse of Babel.”

If only we had a nickel for every time we’ve heard this from a race-mixing pastor. But fortunately, in this book, there is a “see footnote associated” alongside this quote. And here it is, for your orthodox edification:

However, R.M. Jones has a different perspective: “The linguistic crux at Pentecost is that diversity, in the world of the Spirit, is not reversed. It is indeed, in its own way, repeated. What is reversed is mutual incomprehension. Language therefore remains quite happily a factor in the variety of peoples.” [Language in God's Economy: A Welsh and International Perspective] The occurrence at Pentecost did not cause all people to speak the same language, which is what the undoing of the confusion of tongues at Babel would have entailed.

How refreshing to encounter the voice of reason.